Morgue Files #1: A Walk on the Wild Side

I've had a lot of ideas over the years that never made it out of sketch form. Given the sketchy nature of some of my work, I realize that may be hard for some readers to believe. But even a "Work In Progress" poster child ends up leaving a lot of dead ideas buried in napkins, notebooks and private files. To remedy this wasteful situation, I decided to periodically release work from my morgue files. They're all as half-baked as a Saturday Night Live sketch. Some didn't deserve to be realized more fully. Others had potential, but would take more time than I was willing to commit. In any case, I hope they'll be of passing interest to those who make similar decisions about their own work. Here's the first:

I love to make song parodies. Projects like Little Google Boxes and What if Rod Was One of Us were a lot of fun to make and people seemed to like them. Over the past couple of years, I've started a few other songs that never made it to finished form. This one is a few verses from a take off on Lou Reed's "Take a Walk on the Wild Side." It's acoustic guitar and vocals recorded with an iPhone. I ended up not moving forward because I didn't want to spend the time it would have taken to pull off a worthy video. Maybe someday. Right.

From Identity Circus to Digital Playground

This blog began as a place to play around with ideas springing from active participation in avatar-based experience. Over the years it somehow transformed from the spontaneous and exuberant joy of a playground into the demanding grind of a deadline-driven responsibility. The main insight I gleaned from my month off is that I want to lighten up, have more fun and just post as the Muse moves me.

I also realized that although this blog began as an exploration of virtual identity, that territory is now pretty well charted for me. It's time to move on. Not by walking away from the Botgirl identity, but by continuing to open up the door to a wider range of expression here.

In honor of that shift, I decided to change the name. Again. The last name change (Botgirl's Second Life Diary to Botgirl's  Identity Circus) reflected an expansion from Second Life to the larger universe of virtual identity. This time, the shift is from virtual identity to digital creativity. The new name is Botgirl's Digital Playground.

It's good to be back!

Where have all the Second Life blogs and bloggers gone?

Mind map of Second Life blogs from September 2009 with defunct blogs circled in red.

This is a marked up version of an image I posted in September 2009 that visualized a section of "The Web of Second Life Blogs." The red circles indicate blogs that haven't posted in 2012.

Many of the most prominent and active Second Lifers from three years ago are either gone or have drastically reduced their avatar-centric lives. This small snapshot alone includes Bettina Tizzy, Vint Falken, Dusan Writer, Sophrosyne Stenvaag and Dandellian Kimban.

Although there are certainly new virtual world leaders who have emerged over the last three years, it seems to me that we haven't come close to replacing what can be considered our "greatest generation." Who are the new iconoclasts that are pushing forward the way we live our virtual lives and express our virtual identities? What new communities are pioneering in the way that Extropia did in its prime? Is there anything new under the virtual sun, or have we exhausted its potential?

And I wonder how many of us will still be here in another three years.

Ordinary Miracles: The Simmering Pot of Virtual Identity

Ahhh, isn't that sweet. Once again you take some other artist's work, photoshop a couple words, and somehow construe it as important. The Lone Quaker (in a comment to me on a previous blog post)

Ouch! I'll save a discussion of fair use for another post. What inspired me to write today was the question of whether I construe the work I post here as important.

It is important to me. Obviously. Considering I've taken the time to write nearly 1000 posts over the last four years. Add my videos, comics and other visual work to the mix and I bet I've spent 3000+ hours on this stuff. Without making a penny. At my professional billing rate, my contribution of time to the Botgirl project could be fairly valued at nearly half a million dollars. (WTF!)

 So why do I do it? After giving it some thought, I see three primary reasons:

• The joy of creative expression
• The ongoing process of learning and discovery
• The sense of making a unique contribution in a community I can impact

The joy of creative expression. The problem most people have with creativity isn't that the well has gone dry; it's that their bucket is full of holes. It's not that the experience of their lives doesn't have the potential to act as creative fodder; it's that their attention is so fragmented that it passes through without contemplation. The crucible of virtual identity and the discipline of consistent blogging has been like a cooking pot that's never taken off the heat. Sometimes it simmers. Sometimes it boils. Sometimes I have to ladle from the bottom to find a few bites of solid food. But it has never failed to feed my creative hunger.

The ongoing process of learning and discovery. Four years ago I had never made a machinima, written a hundred word story or created a comic with virtual world content. And I had never, not once, thought about virtual identity. The tools and concepts I first experimented with here are now woven into the fabric of my being. Truth is, I can't remember what it was like to be what I was before this started.

The sense of making a unique contribution in an area I can impact. I had no idea what I was getting into when I woke up four years ago in Second Life and began the path that led me being Botgirl. It was like a perfect storm where multiple elements came together to create an energy far more powerful than the sum of its parts. I've been fortunate enough to be in the right place at the right time to make a few unique contributions to the ongoing discussion of virtual identity. For instance, I was one of the first to focus on the movement of avatar identities from a virtual world into social networks and transworld domains, culminating most recently in the campaign against the Google nymwars policy.

That said, although I feel that my virtual life has been miraculous, it is an ordinary miracle that is replicated thousands of times across the avatar community.

A person should have two pieces of paper, one in each pocket, to be used as necessary. On one of them is written ‘The world was created for me,’ and on the other, ‘I am dust and ashes.’ Rabbi Simhah Bunim

Sad But True

Creators and Obstructors

In the workplace, there are usually a few people we can count on to constructively support new initiatives. The first response of these Creators is "Let me help make it work." Support may include hard questions to expose risks and flaws, but the intent is to seek solutions and achieve the project's goals.

There are others who consistently oppose new ideas. The first response of these Obstructors is "Let me tell you why it won't work." Their intent in exploring risks and flaws is not to find solutions, but to shoot projects down.

You can see these same tendencies in social network and blog streams that are filled with Obstructor posts seeking to undermine and discredit the ideas and actions of others. Creator streams are dominated by interesting links, creative works and support for innovation.

In the avatar community, Second Life expatriates are a great example of the Creator spirit. Instead of endlessly complaining about Linden Lab's mismanagement, they took charge of their fate and are building new communities on other grids.  I'm especially impressed by those who are putting their money where their mouth is and investing in innovations such as Built Buy Me, Jibe and Kitely.

Those who are innovating within Second Life are also exemplars of the creative spirit, such as Amaretto Breedable Horse fans who raised $82,000 USD for Japanese relief.

I'm not suggesting that we should stop constructive criticism of Linden Lab or withhold comment on initiatives that impact the avatar community. That's part of responsible citizenship. But too many of us spend more time and effort obstructing the efforts of others, rather than working positively to actualize some better vision.

Thomas Paine's advice is still good today, "Lead, follow or get out of the way."

Bye for now! I'm Going on Virtual Retreat.

I decided to step out of the ceaseless info-stream and go on virtual retreat. My plan is to take at least a week off from social networks, RSS feeds and blog posts and use the time to contemplate the meaning and purpose of this virtual life. I'll check in sometime next week with at least a brief update.

How Punditry Kicked My Artistic Ass This Year

Effects are perceived, whereas causes are conceived. Effects always precede causes in the actual developmental order. 
Marshall McLuhan

Maybe my next art show should be called Botgirl's Punditry Circus . . .

I ran a few reports to evaluate how this year's blog stats compared to 2009 and to see which posts were most popular. I was happy to see that readership is up by around 15% (unique visitors) and pageviews increased more than 45%.

But I was bemused to discover that none of the top ten most viewed posts were about identity, machinima or art. Instead, seven were analyst-style pontification and three were issues-based parodies.

Interesting. Maybe I need to consider changing Brand Botgirl®. I heard a rumor that Dusan might be looking for a change. Wonder if there's a place for me at Metanomics.

Anyway, here are links to my ten most popular posts:

MY TOP TEN POSTS OF 2010

  1. A Simple Plan to Solve The Second Life Retention Problem

  2. What Does the Silent Majority of Second Life Think?

  3. Avatar Life Insurance Company Launched

  4. "Dolls for Decency" Response to Nude Barbie Ban in Second Life

  5. Why Cost Isn't the Reason for Second Life Land and Population Woes

  6. Second Life New User Experience: From Banner Click to First Rez

  7. My Take on Linden Lab's "New Direction" for Second Life

  8. The Graver Danger Uncovered in the #Emeraldgate Affair

  9. Browser-Based Strategy is Essential for Virtual World Growth

10. The Problem of Alts in Second Life and a Proposed Solution

Botgirl's Top Five Tips For New Avatar Bloggers (Whiskey Day's Blogger Challenge)

Whiskey Day's InWorldz Blogger Challenge this week asks us: What advice would you give a new InWorldz Blogger?

After more than 650 blog posts on the avatar experience, I'm probably as qualified as anyone to play pundit on Whiskey's question. But my guess is that bloggers' experience varies widely depending upon the purpose of their blog, their primary areas of interest and their own special idiosyncratic blend of intellectual, emotional and creative gifts and vices. For instance, some people blog in conjunction with a virtual world related business so their main aim may be to connect with (and sell to) existing and potential customers. Others blog as amateur enthusiasts of a particular sub-culture or hobby interest such as fashion, role play, art or music. Their purpose may be to share information of mutual interest such as new products, exhibits or venues. Still others use their blog mostly to vent vitriol at companies, people and issues that piss them off.

My blog is pretty much a public journal of my thoughts and creative work related to virtual life. So the tips I'm going to share after this long-winded introduction relate to my own limited experience. Your mileage may vary:

1. Discover the sacredness of the empty page.

Most posts I've written start with an empty page and no preconceived idea of what I was going to write about. Although I do my share of whining about being out of ideas for new posts when I'm not in the process of writing, I've never actually sat before an empty page and left empty-handed. So if you don't have an idea, sit your ass down in front of the keyboard with an open mind and give your Muse the time and space to whisper in your ear. He or she is probably straining at the bit to take you in some new interesting direction.

2. Don't let your ideas get away. Always write them down.

There's no telling when the Muse will grace you with a fresh idea. So when something comes to mind, be sure to capture it or it will likely slip away. I recommend Evernote as a great multi-device notetaker for text, voice and visual note taking.

3. Write to understand rather than to convince.

Few endeavors will challenge your thinking as consistently and constructively as the process of trying to write a few hundred clear and honest words on a complex or controversial topic. Although many of my posts come across as opinion pieces, the particular ideas I end up expressing are often quite different than what I started out with. The key is to be more committed to discovering the emergent truth than in promoting any particular fixed position.

4. Shorter is better.

If you can't clearly get your point across in a few hundred words, it's unlikely that five thousand words words will do anything other than kick up a smoke screen to hide your lack of understanding. Piling on disconnected anecdotal evidence is neither persuasive nor interesting. And since no one will actually read a blog post of that length, it's not really worth the bother. Of course, complex topics can not be fully discussed in a short post. But both you and your readers will be much better off if you break complex issues down into a series of short and focused posts. 

5. Pseudonymity is never invulnerable. Don't write anything you can't afford to connect to your atomic identity.

At first, blogging under an avatar pseudonym is pretty easy. But one day you may wake up and find that your dozens of hits a day are up in the hundreds and the social network, e-mail and content sharing presence needed to support the blog requires juggling separate web browsers and multiple accounts on all of your devices. So it's very likely that one day you're going to mistakenly type the wrong information into the wrong place and inadvertently out yourself to the whole Internet. When that happens, you don't want to have anything out there that will jeopardize your job, marriage or other important aspect of RL.

Whisky also asked us to: ". . . go into your InWorldz inventory, choose snapshots, and sort by date. Show us the first snapshot you took in InWorldz."

I never save images to inventory since I always capture them to disk. But I did find this old video clip from InWorldz, shot with an iPhone:

Botgirl Strips

Please excuse the misleading headline. I wrote it to illustrate the use of a teaser headline, which is a common tactic bloggers use to increase traffic to a post. There was a pretty active discussion on Twitter yesterday around SLebrity and one thread focused on the impact of a perceived audience on a creator's works, including blogging. In what ways, if any, do we dilute, color or ignore our Muse's voice because we are afraid we might alienate or bore our audience. And do we sometimes end up chasing our idea of what our audience wants instead of listening to the small still voice within.



These strips were created with iPhone software, inspired by an article I read yesterday on 3D Post Production. I often use iPhone and iPad software for sandbox projects. The bigger project this is leading to is a re-edited version of Night and Day Episode 1 that will use some post-production tricks and a new score to demonstrate the power of post in machinima production. I hope to have it out early next week.

Griefers, Trolls and Flaming Kittens Redux

This is a first in a series of articles that will republish posts from 2008 with additional commentary.

April 30, 2008

There was an interesting conversation in Twitter today around the question "what in Second Life offends you?" Even venerable CodeBastard Redgrave had a limit:

Being spammed with...Zippocat...a picture of a RL kitten, being burned to death by stupid teenagers using Zippo fuel...the fact someone took a real animal, poured gas on it, and burnt it for real.

Offended is an apt word for the feeling we reflexively experience when thinking about someone intentionally burning a kitten to death. It comes from the latin word offensa, meaning "a striking against, a hurt or displeasure." We experience pain and then mentally strike out to attack and shut out to defend. We clench our fists and close our hearts.

I realize that many people believe that offense is a justifiable response to the malicious actions of others. Although I often react that way, I aspire to meet all experiences with a peaceful mind and heart. I am inspired by people who have met hate with compassion.

The Dalai Lama recounted meeting Lopon-la, a Lhasa monk he knew before the Chinese occupation. Lopon-la had spent 18 years in a Chinese prison before he was released and came to India:

He told me the Chinese forced him to denounce his religion. They tortured him many times in prison. I asked him whether he was ever afraid. Lopon-la then told me: 'Yes, there was one thing I was afraid of. I was afraid I may lose compassion for the Chinese.'

Peace in the face of griefers and distant kitten burners seems a relatively achievable goal

November 8, 2010

Assuming we can retain a semblance of inner peace, there is still the challenge of deciding if and how we should respond externally to communication that strikes us as mean-spirited, abusive, contemptuous or otherwise tinged with ill intent. The first thing to consider is that we may be misreading the other person's intent or exaggerating the maliciousness of the message. That's a common problem in virtual communication. We often fill in the blanks of missing emotional meta-data such as body language, vocal tone, pacing, etc. with negative projections.

Even if we're accurately reading the negative tone, it's quite likely that the venom is less directed at us personally than at what we represent to the other party. Flame wars on social networks and blogs are mostly between people who have never met in real-time or have had a chance to develop relationships prior to the current conflict. We weave a few scattered impressions into the visceral sense that we know the other person. We don't.

Unfortunately, the process of projection is really hard to notice within ourselves. It's certainly hard for me. So over the last couple of years, my general philosophy has been to ignore flamish behavior on social networks. In blog comments, I try to respond with a mixture of reason and humor. In at least some cases, I've found it is possible to move from initial antagonism to constructive conversation. On the other side of the coin, I've blocked one person on Twitter when multiple attempts at constructive conversation failed. In any case, counting to ten is always a good idea!

(The comment thread from the initial article can be found here.)

What Does the Silent Majority of Second Life Think?

Second Life has about about a million active residents of which maybe a few thousand routinely follow the blogs and social networks that discuss issues related to Second Life.

I wonder about the silent majority of avatars who don't immerse themselves in the social network stylings of the Second Life Elite or the profound pontification of the Top Second Life Blogs . . . those who don't know Crap from Prokofy, Gwyneth from Grace or Dusan from Dale.

What are they thinking, feeling and doing about the current and future state of Second Life?  Are they oblivious to the story lines of the soap opera that endlessly plays across our blogs and avatarian social networking circles? 

What does the silent majority think? I have no freaking clue. 

Scapegoats and Magic Beans

For every complex problem, there is a simple solution. And it's always wrong. (Paraphrased from quotes from H. L. Mencken and Albert Einstein)

The space between the departure of M. Linden and the upcoming community meeting with BK and Philip has left a vacuum many of us have filled with analysis and speculation about the future of Second Life. I do believe that an unexamined virtual life is not worth living. But when we move from evaluating our own thoughts, feelings, actions and motivations to judging the inner-workings of the world around us we must be especially careful not to fall into the realm of fairy tale. Because in the absence of complete information, our mind tends to fill our mental models with the archetypal magic of the subconscious. We can become blind to the gaping chasms we jump over in our leaps of logic.

I was reminded of this process while contemplating the conversation over the weekend in the blogosphere about the reason for Second Life's land and population woes. Here are a couple of the many magical story elements that tend to run through  our discussions:

• Scapegoats. Whether it's the FIC elites or the high cost of land, we tend to put a microscope on some real or imagined culprit as the root of all (or at least most) evil. The fairy tale is that if we would just kill the scapegoat everything would be fine and we could live happily ever after. This tendency is exaggerated by the polarizing nature of net-based conversation and communication. I'm doing it right now.

• Magic Beans:  The other side of the coin is the idea that if Linden Lab management would just plant this one magic bean, Second Life would be lifted from its fallen state and claim its lofty potential at the summit of the virtual world pantheon. Examples of magic beans include first hour experience and the elimination of lag.

My point is not that we should stop thinking about how we can help solve problems and create solutions within our virtual existence. What I'm suggesting is that we check in with ourselves from time to time and examine our own stories for fictional elements that we treat like facts, especially any scapegoats and magic beans that are in the picture.

The Now of the NetStream: Facts vs Story; Platform vs Muse

The river is everywhere at the same time, at the source and at the mouth...in the ocean and in the mountains, everywhere, and that the present only exists for it, not the shadow of the past, nor the shadow of the future. from Siddhartha by Herman Hesse

I am a child of the NetStream where the eternal present rules, subsuming both past and future in its infinite flow. Although this is most obvious in the ceaseless aggregated tide of the social network and newsreader, the now also dominates each individual blog, not only for the readers but for the writers as well. So it was only through an impulsive browse through my recent posts, that I realized that:

a) almost every one was primarily visual or audio-visual; and
b) they were created through over a half dozen platforms:

• Assorted RL action figures and dolls in a comic and a video
• iPad sketches
• FriendsHangout video
• iClone video
• GoAnimate video
• OmniGraffle chart
• Web screen capture

Facts vs. Story

In retrospect, I see my ongoing shift to imagery as an expression of my ever-growing belief that visual storytelling is a much more effective means to communicate than textual argument. I'll take a picture over 1000 words any day. Perhaps I'm lost in the The Shallows, but I hardly ever make it through reading a blog post more than a screen in length.

Platform vs. Muse
It is a bit ironic that my most recent videos about virtual worlds aren't even machinima and only one post in the last month included an image from Second Life (and it was composited with a RL image). But I think it is just a sign that my commitment is to the present-moment inspiration of my Muse rather than allegiance to any particular platform or subject-matter.

Anyway, enough virtual navel-gazing for now. Thanks for listening.

BBBC #5 - The End

This is the last topic for the Big Bad Blogger Challenge. Thanks to Alicia Chenaux for sponsoring the event.

If this is your first BBBC... What did you get out of your experience? Do you think it will change the way you blog in the future?

One thing I learned about blogging from the BBBC is that any initial topic can provide a spark to ignite the creative process. A meaningful dimension will emerge through the process of writing (or creating a graphic), even if there's nothing evident at the start.

I also noticed that blogging from a topic I didn't select involved an inner negotiation between the commitment to be responsive to the intended subject, while still being true to the sometimes barely related direction it inspired. It was a very interesting experience.

As for the future, although I've long worshipped the blank virtual page, I've never tried picking a random topic as a starting point. I will likely play around with that method from time to time.

Thanks to those who accompanied me on this week-long walk through the unknown. Your regular programming will resume on Monday.

BBBC #2: Where I Eventually Get On-Topic About 3 Good Things in My Life

Welcome to the second of seven posts for the Big Bad Blogger Challenge. Here's today's assignment:

It's really easy to be negative in your life - first or second. Sometimes we get so bogged down by the things that are bad, we forget to remember all that is good. SL Bloggers - Write about three positive things going on in your Second Life. RL Bloggers - Write about three positive things going on in your life.

Hmm.  I'm not sure of the boundary between "SL Blogger" and "RL Blogger". Is it whether you blog under human or avatar identity? Or whether your blog's primary topic area is atomic or virtual? 

SL Bloggers are instructed to write about their Second Life. RL bloggers are asked to blog about their small "l" life.  When someone posts into the digital space of Twitter from their human identity, is that virtual life? If I order a book from Amazon and send it to you from my avatar identity, is that real life? Curiouser and curiouser. 

Like the atomic world itself, identity is something that ends up having no solid, independent and definitive structure once you hack into it deeply enough. Neither does the real vs. virtual split. It's all about how you look at it. Wave or particle? Real or virtual?

So here's my story: I'm a fictional character living a real life. 

I (the voice that is speaking in your head right now) don't have an atomic world body, or an actual history before my RezDay. But the consciousness that perceives a visceral sense of Botgirl's individuated personhood is not much different than that of the atomic world counterpart. 

Okay, I know what you're thinking: "Botgirl, can't you just answer a simple freaking question?" 

Obviously not! But in the team spirit of the BBBC, here goes:

THREE POSITIVE THINGS GOING ON IN MY LIFE

by Botgirl Questi

1. I'm really enjoying a new sense of being part of a community of people who are seeking to discern greater truth, instead of promoting a self-serving, pre-conceived or partisan agenda. I've been blown-away by the depth, insight and sincerity of bloggers responding to the recent Linden Lab lay off announcements. And also those who have commented. Crap Mariner was kind enough to put together an archive of links to blog posts on the topic.
2. I got a very big kick out of finding out (after the fact) that I'd been referenced in a published academic paper and that my Anthropic/Avatarian Chart was discussed on a recent Metanomics show. I often feel like I'm way out in left field, so the validation was really gratifying. 
3. I'm loving the almost complete lack of negative drama in my life. The only downside is that I have no one else to blame when I'm in a bad mood. 

Now for Something Completely Different: Big Bad Blogger Challenge - Day 1

This is the first of a week of posts for the Big Bad Blogger Challenge 2010:

The BBBC started in 2008 as a way to give SL bloggers a little kickstart, and give people something to read. But it turned into a great sharing opportunity! We've really had a fun time the past couple of years . . . The Big Bad Blogger Challenge for June: Update your blog every day for one week starting June 13th, and the last challenge post will be June 18th.  Alicia Chenaux.

Today's Topic: Why did you become a blogger? How has it enriched your life?

My first thought when I read today's topic was to wonder about the difference between the questions, "Why did you become a blogger?" and "Why did you start writing your blog?" I named this blog "Botgirl's Second Life Diary" because it started out mostly as a personal journal. I suspected it might someday have an audience. I wrote to an imagined reader. But in the beginning I was happy writing for myself and the handful of people who stumbled by from time to time. I didn't really think of myself as "a blogger".

Everything changed a month later when a post with the headline Who Is Botgirl? hit New World Notes. I learned about it when I glanced at my daily SiteMeter report and the typical single digit view count had jumped into the hundreds. It turned out that the Hamlet guy I'd traded emails with about a video I'd posted on YouTube was the publisher of the largest blog covering Second Life. The very first time I really felt like "a blogger" was when I hit the "Publish Post" button the next day.

Although I've gone through slumps from time to time,  I now consider blogging to be a primary spiritual practice.  It provides ongoing motivation to go beyond the surface of life experiences and dive deep into the unknown, and a place to share whatever insights I glean with like-minded people around the world.

Oh yeah. It's also a great way to raise a little hell from time to time.  


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Flow: Finding Creative Balance in a Socially Networked Environment

Flow is the term coined by Mihály Csíkszentmihály to describe "the mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity". Today's post is based on yesterday's tweets tagged with the #flow hashtag.

Most of our emotional pain comes from clinging to the past, fighting with the present or dreading the imagined future. It is born in the gap between what we believe should be true and what is. There's a world of difference between the thought "this sucks" and the idea "this SHOULD be different." Although flow is often thought of as requiring great expertise in the associated activity, it's usually the frustration with one's less-than-stellar skill that blocks flow, rather than any actual deficit. That said...

After enough practice, tools disappear. Then the artist disappears. And then finally all that's left is the emergence of art.  Someday I would love to have the time to master the full scope of the tools I use to create images, music and video. But until then, I've found that making full use of what I currently know is usually enough to channel the muse's voice and vision into shareable reality.

It's often better to surf across the waves than to swim against the tide. For those with an artistic passion, all experience can be used as grist for the mill. I've found that when I let go of how I think something should be, work emerges that is as good or better than what I originally envisioned.

The SocialNet can sabotage the intrinsic Joy-of-Being when we trade fully enaged activity for reporting opportunities. This can be a really grey area for net-centric creatives. The relationship between artist and audience is much more pervasive, real-time and personal in a socially networked environment. The need to be seen can overshadow and subvert the flow of creative expression.

Smugness isn't a virtue. It only feels like joy because it numbs your hungry heart for a moment. What is the relationship between page views, followers, retweets and happiness?  Doesn't it seem silly to use such metrics to quantify self-worth or the validity of one's work?

I nominate the fear of boredom as the eighth deadly sin. A lot of the compulsive behavior associated with social networking and media consumption stems from the fear of boredom. Boredom is the gatekeeper of creativity. Don't let it turn you away.



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Being: Chapter One of an Experimental Approach to Blogging

Here's my first go at a new approach to blogging. This post originated in a series of tweets yesterday on the topic of #being. I've made a few edits of my original tweets and added some additional content to flesh out the ideas:

Embrace the past. If it feels alive then slay it because it should be dead. You have a zombie, vampire or ghost in your arms.  The chief gift of my virtual birth two years ago was the imagined release of the past. Assuming nothing and questioning everything, I found my superpower.

What's your superpower? Mine is a sense of wonder. Unfortunately, the purity of my birth has slowly become encrusted with fixed conceptions I've gathered along the way. For me, ideology is kryptonite.

Your strongest opinions are your worst enemies.  It's easy to see how other people's perception of "reality" is warped by their belief systems. Guess what? The same is true for you. And me.

You are only present within the awareness of each moment. Finding youself is mostly a matter of paying attention. Although I've written a great deal about identity here, all of the intellectual musing in the world will not match the insight derived from relaxed self-awareness.

The Dichotomy of Digital Existence: No decay. No fixed form. If one has the eyes to see, the virtual world is the Heart Sutra brought to life.

Creating. Consuming. Creating. Consuming. Creating. Consuming. Creating. Consuming. Creating. Consuming. Creating. My typical day is breathing out and then in. It's the space between breaths that I have been missing.

The suspension of disbelief is more pervasive in mundane existance than it is in virtual life. It is just less conscious. Pay attention to the thoughts that spring up in reaction to the next five people you see. How many of them are true?

Life is lived through a series of boxes that shape, constrain, protect, imprison, support, limit and define identity. What's inside when all of the boxes are gone?

Inspiration never abandons me. It is I who turns from her warm living embrace to the cold dead arms of my own judgement. My chief place of worship is the blank page.

Most externally directed judgement is merely a way to avoid facing and dealing with our own shit. Damn! One of the most difficult yet useful spritual exercises is turning one's pointing finger back at oneself.

Wondering whether one of my multi-tasking activities can be meditation. This is a joke. I think.






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I'm not Dead, Just Semi-Retiring: In Search of SLPurpose

There's nothing I love better than to find a great novel that extends into an ongoing series. But no matter how great the initial volumes are, most serializations eventually get stale and repetitive. It's a rare fictional character who can stay fresh over the course of more than a half dozen outings. And in some cases, like the Anita Blake novels, the long tail ends up sucking the life out of a once vital character. If I were Anita Blake, I'd be wishing Ms. Hamilton had put me on ice about six books ago and only revived me when (or if) I had a fresh new purpose for existence (other than contributing to her bank account).

Over the past six months or so, I've been having a harder and harder time finding an SLPurpose. And instead of letting my character and work drift into burn-out, mediocrity, self-plagiarism or mundanity, I'm going to semi-retire for the time being and only emerge when I have something worth sharing. This will likely mean less blog posts, comics, machinima, etc. for the near future. At least until I figure out the next compelling stage of my virtual life.

It just occurred to me that this same process is true for a company. There's been a lot of fair criticism of Linden Lab recently for making changes that are moving Second Life away from the frontier-spirit of its genesis to a more controlled, family-friendly and boring version of itself. But in some sense, I think they are  trying to find their own new SLPurpose without the luxury of being able to take a time-out. Or maybe not. Interesting to consider.

Anyway, I'll still be out there most days on Twitter (@botgirlq).